Yes, I'm HEADING BACK to my daughter's Birth Continent......and more specifically....I'm heading back here:
I'm going BACK to my daughter's BIRTH COUNTRY........ETHIOPIA!!!!
Yes, Ethiopia holds a piece of my heart....and I DREAMED of going back some day...but I just NEVER dreamed it would be THIS SOON!!! Ok...so MORE DETAILS...WHO am I going with??? Well, I'm returning with my SAME travel partner from my FIRST trip...my big sister Kelly:
So, WHY have I been putting OFF telling you guys?? WHY not share this plan/idea when it came about a month ago??? Well...FOR ONE REASON: FEAR!!!! Yes, I don't have MANY fears...but I DO HAVE ONE!!! AND, that is leaving my children!!! I couldn't fathom leaving them the first time I went to Africa....BUT...it was one of those times where I just had no choice IF I was going to bring Lucy Lane home!! So, my hubby stayed home and I ventured across the world with my big sis to pick up our beloved 5th child!!! You see...even in the past I had anxiety about having to be in the hospital for 3 days AWAY from my children after have c-sections...but again, I was left with NO CHOICE and I knew it was NECESSARY!!! BUT.....this trip is DIFFERENT!!! My husband is GIFTING me with this trip and I wont' be traveling to pick up another child for our family!! I AM going for some VERY COOL, AMAZING reasons.....BUT picking up and bringing another child into our family isn't ONE OF THEM!!! So, this idea FEELS RECKLESS and IRRESPONSIBLE in my mind!! I didn't want to put it out in blog land because then it BECOMES REAL!! If I chicken out and back out...then the whole world knows!!! (ok, so maybe just my devoted readers will know..but still :)So, HOW DID IT COME ABOUT??? Well...the hubby and kids and I are driving down the road to Kentucky about a month ago!! My hubby is irritated at me for NOT wanting a "spa day" for my bday!! (ok, i know some of ya love them...but just not something I enjoy). And, we have the conversation about "what" did I want for my bday!! I give the standard reply: "just give me a Target gift card and I'll buy some clothes and such for the kids"!! Well...we're discussing the fact that I really don't like gifts and I dont' NEED anything....when....clear out of the blue he says:
"I've got it....I know a GREAT present for you....it can be your bday present PLUS your Christmas present.....YOU ARE GOING TO GO WITH YOUR SISTER TO ETHIOPIA ON HER JANUARY TRIP!! "
I said, "NO...there is NO WAY in this world I'm going to leave my kids behind and go to ETHIOPIA when we're not even going to bring another child home...NO NO NO..I won't even think about it!!! "
Hubby: "yes, you are!! I know you would love it....You can go do A,B and C (will tell ya that a little later).....and this will be a chance of a lifetime for you...you HAVE to go!! "
Me: "NO "!!!
Hubby: (note: he knows just how to get me with his next line:) "Yes, consider it a God thing!! You are SUPPOSE to go on this trip...I want you to go...I'll take care of the kids...You'll never have to worry if they are with me...and this idea came from no where.. so, I know God planted it there....so YOU MUST GO!! "
***And, at that moment I started allowing the idea to creep in some...hmmmm...then I threw out:
" You are REALLY going to send your wife to a country that holds my heart to VISIT orphanages and photograph WAITING children with my sister Kelly???? You really want to do that?? Cause I can't promise I wont' come back EMPTY handed?? " (thought this would for sure make him change his mind)
Well...he still didn't agree that we could adopt again....but I consider him "fairly warned" now ..and he said he was SURE he still wanted me to go!!! :)
******So......over the past month...I've let it SINK in that I really could do this!!! I've prayed to God about some specific things...and some TRUE miracles have taken place to confirm that I'm suppose to GO!!! I can't wait to share those things with you all!!! I've been BLOWN away these past couple of weeks as GOD has allowed me to see HIS HAND and HIS WILL over our adoption, my Lucy lane and NOW this trip!!! MORE TO COME SOON ON THIS....I PROMISE!! :)
FOR NOW....I'm letting you guys in on all this....CAUSE I'll need YOUR PRAYERS to go through with it!! Yes, I'm a BIG FAT CHICKEN!! I've NEVER left Lucy lane yet except for with the hubby for maybe an hour to two IF NECESSARY!! I can't imagine being away from her or my other 4 little people for that long!! It is at night when it is dark and I wake and I ALREADY want to call my sister and back out!! So, start sending me the FEAR scripture NOW...AND start lifting me and this trip up in prayer.....cause I'll NEED it to accomplish this mission!! :) And, Oh...for my sweet Lucy Lane....I just MUST go....
***Specifically...the trip will be early January...it should be about a week long.....and oh, my....I'm so excited and anxious and nervous ALL AT THE SAME TIME!!! More to come.....
*That's my news folks!!! Happy Wednesday to you all, kj
WHAOOOO!!!! Sounds fun, and I can definitely imagine something you will do when you go ;) OOOHHHHH- It will be hard to do, but you know that if this is GOD in it- YOU MUST!!!! Remember just like adoption - if God is in it- you do it. Kinda how it works. I know for a fact your hubby will love on your babes while you are gone!!! Ooooo- sooo excited for you!
ReplyDeletethis is AWESOME!!! I got chills reading about it. What a blessing that your hubby knows you So well:)
ReplyDeleteYeah!!! I am so excited for you! I am also a bit jealous! I would LOVE to go back to Ethiopia...I also have to admit that I am a total chicken about leaving my kids to do it. I can totally relate to your anxiety. Keep praying and remember that Gods will would never take you where His Grace will not protect you!
ReplyDeleteYeah for you!!!!! I can't wait to hear all about your plans.
YOU MUST GO! This is AWESOME! I hate to leave my kids too. I never did until we were adopting from Guatemala. YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteSo excited for you!! This is AWESOME!!! What a gift to Lucy Lane!!
ReplyDeleteYay!!!! What an amazing opportunity!! I am so excited for you! I know God has big plans and purposes for you going back to Ethiopia! And I'll give your our verse from VBS Sports Week this summer, "For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and self-discipline!" Any fears you have are not from Him, so go forward with your trip with lots of FAITH!! :)
ReplyDeletei remember being with you while kelly was there the last time and you were hanging on their every post. now it is YOUR turn. what a precious and perfect gift! going to a dump(if you end up going to korah) is WAY different than a spa day! :) i am so very excited for you. it's especially beautiful that you are laying aside your fears. i am sure that it will do more for ll and her future for you to have that time in her birth country than even if you were home with her the whole time. not that i think it's going to be easy for any of you to be apart, but i will be praying along with so many others. i can't wait to hear more!
ReplyDeleteAt first when I saw you were "going back" I thought that meant adopting another child :-)
ReplyDeleteMy wife and I saw your video when you first met Lucy...we have always had a desire for adoption, but your video just confirmed that. Do you have any information you could share about this process; we would love to look into this further! Thanks, Lyle (lyleabeck AT gmail DOT com)
ReplyDeleteWe watched the video of you meeting Lucy, how exciting! My wife and I have always wanted to adopt and the burden seems to get stronger as time passes. I was wondering if you had information you could share with us...? Thank you for sharing your stories! God bless, Lyle lyleabeck AT gmail DOT com
ReplyDeleteSo excited for you Kristi! We will of course be praying! So thankful your husband knows you well enough to send you EVEN IN YOU FEAR!!! God has got some great thigns in store for you...can't wait to hear how He writes this story for you! And WHO KNOWS?!? Maybe we'll be there at the same time!!
ReplyDeleteI AM SO EXCITED FOR YOU!!! I completely understand. I HATE leaving my kiddos for any reason, but in June I will be packing up and heading to Haiti with visiting orphans. I am so excited, but it is going to tear me apart to leave them. I know they will be fine, but still! I will be praying for you friend... :)
ReplyDeleteI totally get your fear of leaving. But the trust you place in your husband (by letting go of the control) is an affirming gift to him. And the example you set to your children (by following God's command to serve the orphan AND to face your fears) is priceless.
ReplyDeleteNow remind me of that when it's my time to leave for a mission trip in Nov to Cambodia. Yep ... I have signed up for it but have not posted about it for the exact same reasons!
I continue to be so proud of your example Kristi. And so proud to call you friend!
I cannot wait to learn more about your "mission" in Ethiopia. And I can only imagine who might be there waiting for you!
Love & Blessings from Hong Kong,
Kim
Yahoo! That sounds awesome. I would love to join you all once we get our treasures home and can save the money! So excited for you!
ReplyDeleteLots of Lvoe
Jill
www.campfunk.blogspot.com
Kristi, that is so exciting! I just returned last Saturday from 2 weeks in Kenya on a mission trip with my church. The first few days I was so homesick and really missed my kids. I really wanted to come home. But the 2nd day I prayed for the Lord not to let me miss this opportunity He had given me, and that He would allow me to overcome my own feelings to complete the task He had for me there. He answered me big time, and we had an amazing time teaching children in several parts of Kenya. I was so sad to leave and I miss my friends there already.
ReplyDeleteI hope that encourages you that He will help you put aside your feelings and concerns to accomplish His work there, and you will be BLESSED by the whole experience. And what a wonderful example for your kids to see you taking a step of faith and doing something a little scary out of obedience to God. They will remember that, I'm sure. My friends kept reminding me before I left (when I was panicking!) that God loves my kids even more than I do, and He will take care of them even when I am not here.
I am excited to hear about your trip...I'm sure it will be amazing!!
YEAH! How exciting for you! YOU CAN DO IT :)
ReplyDeleteOh, how exciting! And I completely understand your anxiety about leaving your kids. I'm about to leave my 3 month old daughter tomorrow as I head to Ethiopia to pick up my 9 month old son. I know I have to go, as that is how my son is getting home, but it's still hard to leave. Thinking and praying for you. :)
ReplyDeletehow awesome! what a great husband you have! Go sister go! God is going to use you mightly over there and so know it is for a purpose and that your kids will be proud of you for doing this and will be very well taken cared of by daddy! :0)
ReplyDeleteI smiled through this whole post! You guys sound a lot like us. haha. I, too, don't enjoy spa days. Gift cards are my favorite. And I can never think of anything I really want or need (well, except for clothes or chocolate - but that's just because I have to come up with SOMETHING for him to buy me). Also, flying to Ethiopia in May was absolutely the hardest thing I have done. When I hugged my sons goodbye, I was a wreck. When we safely landed back in TX, I told my husband I wasn't sure I'd ever be able to leave the country without my kids again! :o)
ReplyDeleteAll that said, congratulations! That is so wonderful and exciting, and it HAS to be a God thing. No chickening out!
How exciting! And an amazing opportunity to see Lucy Lane's birth country a bit more! I'm looking forward to our two trips to Ethiopia, but am also a little nervous about leaving my 4 kiddos at home. But God directed it, and He will provide. Blessings to your family while you prepare for your trip! Can't wait to hear more!
ReplyDeleteDear Lord,
ReplyDeleteI need you now because I am full of stress and anxiety. Reading your Word brings comfort, as I ask you to come and take my heavy burdens. I take each burden, one by one, and lay them at your feet. Please carry them for me so that I don't have to. Replace them with your humble and gentle yoke so that I will find rest for my soul today. I receive your gift of peace of mind and heart. Thank you that I can lie down tonight in peace and sleep. I know that you, Lord, will keep me safe. I am not afraid because you are always with me. Please keep me daily, Lord, in your perfect peace.
Amen
Oh, I totally understand the fear thing. I am already starting to panic at the thought of having to leave my 4 twice when we go get our little man!! We may be traveling in January too. Maybe we can cry and pray together! Can't wait to hear more about the trip!
ReplyDeleteDabney
YOU MUST GO!!! Oh my goodness this is awsome! I can't wait to read all about it in January! God put this scripture on my heart last week and while it isn't a fear scripture it is a good one and I think it is fitting for this situation:
ReplyDeleteSo do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded, You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God you will receive what He has promised. Hebrews 10:35-36
Praying for your trip, I know God will do big things in you and through you because of it!
You can do it! How exciting and I can totally relate to your reservations because I am a big fat chicken also! I would love to go with your sister on her summer trip. Can't wait to cheer you on in January.
ReplyDeleteSo excited for you!
ReplyDeleteCongrats!!! Praying for you while you are there.
ReplyDeletethat's so wonderful and exciting!!! :) YAY!
ReplyDeleteSo so so excited for you!!!! There is a possibility that we may be able to be over in Ethiopia around the same time if we get our referral sometime soon... If not maybe you can give our babies a hug from us!!!! What a blessing... what an amazing husband!
ReplyDeleteBlessings.
j
www.gfinkfamily.blogspot.com
Beneath the Acacia Tree
I can relate to not wanting to leave the kids. I totally miss my girls when my husband and I go on date nights, and I cry when I think about having to leave them twice to bring back our little guy, but it must be done!
ReplyDeleteFear is the enemy's biggest tactic to keep us from doing what God has for us. We just won't listen to that :)
Praying for you as God is wanting to use you .. just get your body in the right place and he will take care of the details! So excited for you and don't let that fear overcome you .. the people need you more as your children will be safe and sound. Praying praying and helping keep you accountable:)
ReplyDeletethats so exciting!!!! i am ready to go back, but not ready to leave the kiddos. i am trying to get my husband to go back next year. he wants to its just the logistics of it :)
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful husband you have! I am sure he will take good care of your kiddos.
ReplyDeleteYour life has touched so many people for good...and I know God has a purpose for this trip.
God bless you and protect you...and give you a meaningful trip.
Linda @ Truthful Tidbits
Is the well getting dedicated? I remember a long time ago you mentioned that. How exciting!
ReplyDeleteHi Kristi,
ReplyDeleteI was introduced to your blog recently when our girls were born 12 weeks premature. One verse that kept me going during that time was Isaiah 41:10, "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." BTW: Some of our closest friends are adopting from Ethiopia and your story helped them to decide to do it NOW!!!!!! Thank you for what you do for Jesus!!!
Oh Kristi how exciting!!
ReplyDeleteI totally understand about leaving the kids, I am so like that. I'm thinking about my trip to China, which won't be til next year, to pick up our newest addition and I'm freaking out about leaving the kids.
Just keep praying that God will be watching over your family and go do your thing in Africa!!
LoVe to you Kristi! We "can't not" do what God places before us--that's when we KNOW its calling :)!! LOVED this post. Daddy and Lucy are going to have some great bonding time going on!! God will take care and complete what He calls you to. Blessings, dear friend!!
ReplyDeleteSo excited for you, Kristi! What an awesome birthday/Christmas gift! You deserve time away having a great time with your sister! I will be praying that all fear will turn into nothing but excitement!!! Happy for ya!
ReplyDeleteOh I am dying to go to Africa but the fear of leaving my 4 kids scares me too to be honest. God will protect you and your kids and wow what an amazing trip you will have and who knows maybe you will be bringing a child into your home soon!!!! :) Excited to hear about what God is going to do!!!!
ReplyDeleteWIsh I was going with you!!!!
So excited for you!!!!
God BLess, Heidi
Psalms 56:3 my favorite verse since I struggle with fear
I will pray! I thought the same thing when I felt God was calling me to India in '08, "But I can't leave my kids! That would be irresponsible of me. They are the mission field in my life right now." Then, while listening to a Beth Moore DVD, the Lord spoke through her to me. She basically said that sometimes we can let our kids become "mini idols" in our lives and prevent us from seeking after what God is calling us to do. (Now...keep in mind that I fully believe that was just for me in this case of God needing me to go to India for 13 days. Not to abandon my role as a mom pouring in to my kids. Please read that right) I had to be reminded of that on Day 2 of the trip when I was so homesick I was letting it ruin my time. I remembered that while I was called to India for this time, God was going to bless my kids and their time with their dad! SO TRUE! God even healed my son's eye issue while I was gone. It was as if He said, "Look at what I can do when you let go and TRUST ME!" Of course, this mission trip changed my life and we now have OUR ABBY because of it! So glad I didn't let 13 days away and fear stop me from this life-defining trip! I share this LONG (sorry) testimony as an encouragement for you to GO FOR IT! Allow God to do miracles for your kids at home and to and through you in Ethiopia. I always say that me going on a mission trip impacted my kids more than I ever could have by staying home for those days. Hope that makes sense. God has big plans for you girl! Have fun and enjoy the adventure!!! Bless you! Jenny
ReplyDeleteCan I go with you?
ReplyDelete