Tuesday, May 25, 2010

The Wait, Court...and Heading to Africa...

So, here goes POST #3 in my Re-cap of our Adoption Year....#1 was "Why did we Adopt?" #2 was "Excuses" we all make...and #3 is "WAITING" So, HOW DID I HANDLE THE WAIT?

*Hmmmm, lets see.....I handled it GOOD at times..and other times...well..I was slightly impatient!! I get asked ALL the time "What was the wait like?" People email me and say: "I feel like I'm losing my mind..is this normal?" Well....YES!! If adopting doesn't send you over the edge a few good times...then nothing will!! :) When people say that ADOPTION is a roller coaster ride....THEY AREN'T LYING!!! :) I seriously started off thinking: "I have 4 young children...I'll never get anxious and crazy like all these other people are acting..I have PLENTY to keep me occupied!" Yea, right!!! LOL Ok, so there is just something about messing with a Momma Hen and her babies!! We WANT our babies AT HOME in our COZY little NEST NOW...and no one better get in our way...No AGENCY, NO COURT, NO Ethiopian Government, NO U.S. Visa issuing place...NO travel agent..and certainly NO airlines......NOTHING CAN STOP A DETERMINED MOMMA.....cause we're likely to lose our minds, act nuts and be embarrassed later if SOMEONE dares and tries to slow us down!! :)

**Ok, so REALLY..I handled the paper work fine...I felt great during the first 6 months of my wait on the wait list....THEN...it happened...I WENT OVER 6 MONTHS!! :) Yes, all you that have waited years can laugh at me now!! So, I waited a total of 6 months and 3 weeks for our 1st referral and the last 3 weeks was an eternity.....You start playing mind games with yourself thinking: "I've been skipped" or " They've forgotten about me"...then you start begging ON LINE for PATIENCE and PRAYERS (first sign that you're starting to come unglued :)!! Then the REFERRAL comes...and well...I can finally breathe..I've seen the face of my child....OH, BUT WAIT...Now i've seen her face...and NOW I must GET HER HOME!! Suddenly then comes anxiety and impatient feelings that I'd never felt before....IT WAS THE MOTHER HEN SYNDROME COMING OUT!! I couldn't get the paper work returned fast enough...NOW I KNOW this baby girl is waiting on ME to get my paper work back..and well..I'm now panicking to make it go as fast as humanly possible!!! Then..OK...deep breathe..paper work returned...wait a month and get issued a court date...find out court date...then WHAM....THE DREADED CALL CAME.....

**We LOST referral!!! Our baby girl was gone!! The next 3 weeks waiting on a new referral was the hardest part of the adoption process....Every day as the AGCI offices closed and I didn't have a new referral...I just wanted to CRY!!! Oh, but...the PERFECT baby girl was waiting...The stars were aligning for our Lucy Lane to become ours!! Finally...the REAL call came..and we had our new baby girl!! Hallelujah...Life is GOOD Again!! :)

**Then all the same...panic to get paper work back...hear we couldn't keep same court date...wait for new court date...and WHAM....New Court Date was finally here....It was ONE YEAR AGO THIS WEEK THAT WE WENT TO COURT FOR OUR LUCY LANE MARTHA!! I thought I was going to have ulcers worrying so much about our court date....We were at the ball field ONE YEAR AGO EXACTLY when I looked down and saw this:

Yes, one of the kids dropped their snow cone and it formed AFRICA!!! I yelled at my hubby..."It's a sign...we're going to pass court!!" AND WE DID PASS THE FIRST TIME! PRAISE GOD!!!!

*** I officially DID LOSE MY MIND when waiting for our travel confirmations though...You'd think I would have been through the worst part...but no...waiting to find out WHEN I would get to travel proved to be one of the hardest parts...We passed court on Memorial Day..and I traveled two weeks later on June 13th.... I had a weeks notice to get my tickets and fly out and...I truly finally could breathe when I sat on that plane and it took off in the air headed for my baby girl!! So, yes...I cried to any case worker that would listen to me...I begged and pleaded in the end to let me on a plane...and well...IT WAS ALL WORTH IT!! :) Surely, the next time around I'll be much more patient...SURELY!!! :) And, it is just like pregnancy...you forget the painful parts and want to do it ALL OVER AGAIN!! :) (side note: AGCI was very kind and good to me...they listened so well as I cried and begged for my baby...I think they'd dealt with a few other crazy mommas before :)

****So...I'll post NEXT on my TRAVEL and BONDING with LL!! But I just wanted everyone that DIDN'T know me a year ago during THE WAIT to know...that I WASN'T COOL AS A CUCUMBER!! I was SOOOO anxious to get my baby girl home I could't stand it...I had NO FEAR of flying to Africa...I never worried ONCE about bonding with LL...I just WANTED my baby girl HOME WITH ME, and I wanted to throw up most days waiting on her!!! :) Ok, so...the next part was EASY....and I'll post about that soon!!! :)

**And, for your viewing pleasure....here is another Momma's Take on THEIR WAIT....JUST TOO CUTE: (oh, and pause my music at the bottom of the page...and see if you spot a baby girl that might look familiar! :)

Happy Tuesday to you all, kj


  1. I love these posts! =) Since I didn't know you last year, its been fun to re-walk this journey with you! And it brings a smile to my face to read about thsi part of your journey now that I know so many going through it. So when's the next adoption starting?!? ;)

  2. You crack me up. I am pretty sure I have been over the edge a couple of times already...good thing God is there to pull me back up. We got a court date this week, so now I am patiently waiting and praying :)

  3. Great post. I like your recaps...they are such a good reminder of the journey and process! I agree...waiting to travel was the hardest part! After passing court I felt like I could put my heart FULL IN for the first time...no guard. Oh how I just wanted to go get her!!
    (PS we are thinking about coming up for the Nashville gathering...hoping to work out the details to make it happen!)

    Emily V.

  4. hey kristi
    glad i am not the only one...it was about 2 weeks ago that i thought i would lose it...i am better now...hanging in there, but READY!!!!!!!just waiting to see her face

  5. yep... that just about describes me as I'm waiting for our referral... except you did a lot better for a lot longer! We've only been on the list 3 months and I am beginning to SPAZ! haha oh well... I guess it's just a sign of how much I love our little guy already! :)

  6. The wait was horrible for me, too. However, not really the wait for the referral. It was the time between referral and travel that was horrible. Probably two of the lowest times in my life when I had a child 7000++ miles away from me and court and everything. I couldn't stand it!

    I will tell you the second adoption is SOOO much different from the first!

  7. You are SO RIGHT about the Mother Hen Syndrome! We waited 7 months for Joe (after referral) and 10 1/2 months for Ella (after referral) and, well, it was the hardest thing I've ever done!! I, too, thought that since I had gone through the wait before that it would be easier the second time around... but let me tell you, it's NOT. It was worse with Ella (probably because they were closing down adoptions and with all the new steps that were put into place, we were not even 100% positive that Ella would be ours until the day that we brought her home!), and I AM NOT a very patient person.
    Thanks for writing these posts. As an adoptive mom, I can totally relate with you, and I KNOW that your words are encouraging to the families still in the process of their adoptions. I have been reading your blog since you were filling out papers; it has been a joy and an honor to "see" how far you have gotten!


  8. I have just loved reading these posts! I love that the snow cone spilling formed Africa!!! How awesome is that?!!

  9. I too have had my moments of crazy. But I know it will be so worth it. I am sure I have a few more crazy moments to go until I get my daughter. Great post!

  10. Oh no, this post makes me nervous!!! :) Patience is NOT one of my best qualities!! I need to start praying already! :) So funny, I just watch the AGCI DVD that they sent me in my pre-application packet (a little late, I know). I didn't know that you and LL were on there! I loved it!!! And of course, I love the pic of your girls on the folder...so precious!

  11. Would love to read a post about what all this "paper work" is that everyone refers to, but nobody is giving out specifics. And the watermark of Africa ~ that's God. Too cool.


Thank you for your kind words!!