Heading Into Night 3..update..

Well...I'll just say: This is NOT fun!! But trying to remember to PRAISE GOD that my boy is able to have this surgery..and that he made it through surgery great and THIS will all be behind us soon....BUT...I'd be lying if I said any of this ICU stay was pleasant...very nice people and harding working staff BUT my baby is mad that I can't hold him..mad that he must stay in a car seat and MAD that his hands can't be free to grab and rip all his tubing out....And VERY MAD that he can't open his eyes and see.... He's doing better this afternoon but it was a rough night last night...He still was throwing up today but he finally woke this afternoon without screaming and was able to peak open one eye and get a look at me...

Specific Prayers are:
That he'd find peace tonight and be pain free
That he'd actually sleep tonight and NOT try to constantly pull himself out of his carseat
That he'd stop throwing up his bottles
That his head will STOP draining so his drain tube from his head can be removed...I can't hold him until the tube comes out.
And, that his eyes would OPEN completely so we can move out of the ICU and into a regular room. The EYE OPEN rule is our golden ticket out of here...they won't let us leave the ICU until then...

**I will add that life sure is about perspective...I met a precious little boy that's fighting cancer..they've been here for months...he invited me to join his facebook page...so sweet!! And, there are other children that I haven't met but that i can see all around me that have been here for months...and they may never go home!! Trying to count my blessings! I'm very blessed that my son will get to go home soon and lead a normal life some day (God Willing :) Thank you Lord for the precious little gift you brought me...I'll forever be grateful for my sweet, sweet son!! happy Saturday to you all, kj

Made It Through the First Night...

Well...I have officially not cried yet today so I think my emotions are getting under check...:) Wes had a good night...His heart rate is down...is blood pressure is stable now...He still has a little fever but it is manageable...His pain is under control with medication and he is basically sleeping all day so far. He got to get off oxygen and is keeping his levels up on his own!! Yay!! His swellling is so bad right now in his face that he doesn't even look like my baby anymore...but i know all that will go away eventually...I can't hold him at this point and they keep him in a car seat all day for his protection.... Thank you to www.karenhalbertphotography.com for the great pics she printed out for me to use bedside...The nurses are LOVING seeing all the cute pics of my boy and our other kids too...

I got brownies for breakfast from one friend and another just dropped in to bring me diet coke and magazines...AND..best of all...my hubby and kiddos are on their way up here for a visit...Can't wait to see them...

*Wes still isnt' holding down bottles..so praying he can stop throwing up soon and start keeping food down!! I'll update more soon...I really have nothing else to do when he sleeps besides play on my lap top!! :) I could start reading a book.....hmmmm...that might require too many brain cells though..too tired to use too many of those!!! :)

More soon..happy Friday to you all, kj

We Made To The PICU

We have officially made it to the ICU where we will call HOME for the next 3 to 4 days...OH, nothing could have prepared me for the emotional roller coaster I am feeling....I have cried more since seeing him than I have in YEARS combined together!! :) Seriously...it just hurts my soul to see my baby hurting.....He hasn't even finished swelling yet, but just rounding the corner and seeing him for the first time nearly took my breath away...I do pass out easily and seeing all the tubes coming out of him made me feel VERY faint....I'm doing much better now...but I seriously cried with no control the first couple of hours after seeing him...He had a fever, his heart rate was up which made him breathe funny...and he arched his back and screamed every time his eyes opened...SO...the drs just kept knocking him back out!! BUT, he's doing better now and seems to be resting better for the moment....AND...I think i've made it an entire 15 minutes without crying now so I think we're BOTH on the road to recovery!! :)

My hubby is home with our 5 other babes, so I'm just sitting here in this COLD room with a sweet young nurse who is constantly checking on my baby boy. Such nice people here doing a great job...It will certainly be a long night ahead...but I'm trying to stay awake to feed my baby his first bottle when he wakes...I'm camped out beside his bed waiting for him to wake...and praying he doesn't wake up SO UPSET this time where they have to sedate him again.....

Your prayers are so appreciated...I knew it would be hard yet I never realized HOW HARD it would be emotionally to see my baby hurting like this....Praising God that it is OVER and he did so well in surgery...NOW praying that his little body starts to heal and his heart rate and fever goes away!!! And, since my eyes are swollen now too...we both just look LIKE A MESS!! :) I don't feel comfortable posting a " full on" picture of him...just doesn't seem right to show him hurting and all tubed up!! Not trying to hide anything....I'm just not comfortable posting such sad pictures of him at this point...I can't wait to post happier pics of our hospital stay towards the end of our week long stay here!!! I just want my baby feeling better :(

I'll post another update tomorrow when i can....thank you again for all your love, prayers, comments, emails and support...It's gonna me a long week...kj

ps....just fed him his first clear liquids by bottle...he got one eye slightly open to see me...he seemed calm with me there...drank some bottle...then threw it all up and fell back asleep..fun times :(

Wes Surgery Update....

The surgeons have been calling and giving us updates...Neurosurgeon finished....Main Head Surgeon just came out and was finished and both said he did very well.... Another hour or so as they put him back together and get him stable...then they'll call us back to see him for the first time... Praising God that every thing has gone so smoothly....Your prayers are so appreciated and felt... Handing him off into the arms of the drs was one of the hardest things I've ever done...but so thankful to almost have this behind us...then let the healing begin...

Thank you again for your support...I can't wait to see my baby boy...it's been a long day!! I'll update again when i can, kj

Surgery Day!!

Wes's surgery is scheduled for 1pm today...we'll be getting there a couple of hours earlier....Should take around 6 hours to complete...less if it goes smoother than expected..longer if things arise. We're praying for it to obviously go as quickly as possible. Praying for the surgeons involved...may God please hold each and every one of them...and guide them to do the BEST possible job for our little man. I'll update when I can... This is a long time for my baby to go with out food too...so please pray for peace for my love's belly too!!

**We should be in ICU for 3-4 days..then normal room for a week.... Yes, I'm very nervous right now...but trying to stay in prayer to calm my anxiety about this.... LORD, PLEASE PROTECT MY BABY!!! WE LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!! IN JESUS NAME, AMEN!!

Happy Thursday to you all, kj

A Change of Plans.....Wes is having surgery THIS THURSDAY!

God has shown me once again that when it comes to this miracle little boy in my life...that HE IS ULTIMATELY IN CONTROL!! Just when we wrapped our minds around the fact that Wes's surgery would be in August now...we found out today that a surgery day SUDDENLY became available for THIS Thursday!! Our surgeon's office called and said they'd like for Wes to take this earlier date...and well...after feeling instantly "SICK"...I said OK!!

So...with only 3 days notice...Wes is going to have his big surgery on THIS THURSDAY, July 14th!! I'm glad to be getting it over with...but I'm also not mentally prepared..and maybe that's good!! Not much time to really think about it now..and we'll just be going in like a deer in headlights!!

I'm so thankful we got these family shots done BEFORE Wes had his surgery..I thought I was getting them done a month before surgery....but come to find out..it was only a week before surgery!!

I really don't get too nervous about too many things...but thinking of my boy having this surgery on Thursday...well...just makes me want to puke!! It's just the thought of him being taken away from me...the thought of him going through pain..the thought of him not being able to open his eyes after surgery to see me...BUT praying God protects him and eases his fears and pains...and that my voice alone after surgery will be able to calm him!!

We LOVE you Wes Paulos...and I pray the world will pray with us for a safe and successful surgery....and for a fast recovery for my sweet sweet boy!!! If I can get internet...I'll keep you all posted on how everything is going....

Thank you so much for your prayers and support.....Our family certainly appreciates your kindness...Happy Monday to you all, kj

Happy 2 Months Home Wes!

I can't believe 2 months has already passed since having my Sweet Wes Paulos in my arms!! The love I have for this amazing boy is indescribable!! He has ahold of my heart FOR SURE!! :) Bonding to this sweet little love was SUPER EASY!! He is FULL of love all the time. He just wants to hug and pat my back all the time!! He has a smile that melts the entire family....and watching him grow into a running little toddler all over our home is simply a GIFT FROM GOD!! We love you so much Wes Paulos...and we're blessed EVERY DAY by having you in our life.....






And, thank you www.karenhalbertphotography.com for the great shots!! You caught my boy's sweet, loving, cuddle bug personality so well!! I'll cherish these always!!! :)

**Happy Saturday to you all, kj